| Believe! |
[29 Nov 2006|01:31am] |
Sean: im always here for u :-)
For my lil brother to tell me that and say I love you
Shows me that this surgery is just a set back in my life and I'm gonna be okay:) I'm gonna be alright:)
|
|
| Second Thoughts |
[26 Oct 2006|02:30pm] |
|
Where is a site or process where I could see where I stand politically? NON-Bias! I can't find any non-bias sites or a way I can know. I know I am conserative but I feel like the Republicans have an agenda that I don't agree with and so do the Democrats... so I need to re-evaulate where I am politically...any suggestions?
|
|
| Things aren't always what they seem? |
[21 May 2006|12:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
In doing this project for school I have encounter things in myself that I don't like... That maybe I'm not as smart, special, or good as I think I am. I just don't know how to function once its gone... so I can't let it go... not for a very very long time...which I planned on.
I don't feel special. I especially won't feel special later either. I need to find that quality that truly makes me special... and its not that I'm nice, a good listener or whatever other crap I do. I need something that sets me apart and for what I can see within myself that is nothing. Everyone has a quality that I have. And it was stupid of me in the first place to think that not having sex made me special cuz it doesn't. Lots of people do that. Big Deal. I don't do it so I can be "special", different maybe and lots of other reason but Not to be "special". I just get seen that way and I enjoy it. but I just have this impression of myself in my head... and I don't know if its the same as what everyone else sees. I don't know myself as well as I thought I did. Everyone defines it differently so who is right?
I just feel like crap physically and mentally. Nobody understands when I talk about this cuz its like y are u sad u r a good person etc. I know that I am a good person I just thought I was special and I'm not. Not for the reason I believed I was. Because if that were true my mom wouldn't be special and I think she is lol Its just me... I'm not into me right now. I understand the process but I didn't master it cuz I'm just like everyone else. and I guess that is why I'm sad. I'm just like everyone else= not special.
well I'm only 20 I need to get to know myself more. I just try to be "perfect" even though I know its impossible... cuz I'm not perfect. I dunno I need to shut up... nite
|
|
| When the opportunity arises... |
[11 May 2006|03:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
Wow I have to tell you this past year of school has been amazing... Every semester I got to pursue an actual goal in life. In Advertising I made a candy that everyone liked and could possibly make money from it... Now I get to full fill a dream a decade in the making... I get to talk to young girls about self-value!!! I am so happy right now. Lots of people said that no one would listen to me because I didn't have a degree but I do have my experiences and my passion. I really want to help. I have no idea where I'm going in life lol I dunno if I'll be the graphic designer forever but its good to know I do have other passions and talents I can use...that is what college has taught me so far. So the sky is the limit. and I'm off to Auburn Hills in the Fall to finish my Bachelor's in Graphics. I'm amazed at what things I can accomplish in 10 weeks...honestly.
Its hard to stay confident when you have shit heads that bring you down and like to be little you. I have noticed that their are many people wouldn't like me to fall on my face because they think I think I'm a little Ms. Perfect who doesn't do anything wrong... That hurts I'm not perfect... no one is. It is sometimes hard for me to trust people because I have a feeling that they have in the back of their heads I hope she crashes and burns. Which is really scary...cuz how do I know for sure when people care about me or our friendship... Sometimes I feel that people may mock me or talk about me behind my back which kinda upsets me... but what can you do? Take everything with a grain of salt and toss it over your shoulder I guess lol I also feel that people may see me as judging...
I was called "super religious" today which I don't think is entirely true just because I believe and worship God doesn't make me super religious... by today's stand point of a Jesus Freak... I guess I kind of took it as a put down because most people think that if do believe in God and you are a virgin, U are doing it because of God when that isn't the case in my situation...I do it for myself.... So I sorta took offensive to that esspecially because religion has the connotation of controlling tied to it so... yeah I probably shouldn't of been offended but that is why I was offended. Oh well
No Matter what I will leave my mark on this planet with no ones help but my own! mmm maybe God he helps those who help themselves...
|
|
| My words were cold and flat...and you deserve more then that... |
[01 May 2006|11:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Tres Tres Bien!!! |
] |
Well Exciting News People!!!
I am an Aunt by Association!!! Baby Gerry was born on April 26th and he is wonderful! I love this little baby... Its weird cuz he's not my nephew or related to me but I just adore him. I get to hold a baby again:)... from people who are married then had a child its rare in my family this is amazing!lol
Sam called me Wednesday at the News Herald and said Baby Gerald Alan Klos the 2nd is born! and I was like Really?! YAY so we went to see him then the next day we went to see him then on saturday and today I made Christy and Gerry a lasagna because they loved the one I made for the baby shower and I got to see him again :)Is it weird how much I am enjoying this? I don't care I'm just happy :)I love babies. Christy's Mom keeps calling me Auntie Kristina which cracks me up so whatever I feel bad correcting her lol cuz its Uncle Sam and Kristina... I'll have him call me Stina cuz its easier then the 3 part Kris-teen-na lol so just Stina if I ever am Auntie we'll figure it out then
The Scholarship thing went awesome it was really this huge deal and my Chief education something or other came with me she is the 2nd most important person at my college so that was cool when we were getting our picture taken with the govenor she actually said I'm so proud of you and I said thank u her- This is a huge honor I wouldn't of missed this U were the most important thing I had to do today lol That was awesome I'm like a check mark on a list lol It was still cool We had a nice lunch and I got my nice Grant for my education SWEEEEETTTT :) and I found out every college in michigan was eligible for this scholarship and 9 got it and 2 Baker students got it... the other girl was from Auburn Hills and she told me that the AH campus is known for its Grapic Comm program so I'm excited to go there even though the drive will suck ass:) It was just nice to be really really important for a day lol
I'm so happy :) Smiles all around!
|
|
| Words Can't Say what Love can do.... |
[25 Apr 2006|10:50am] |
|
Well...Update.... Uh...
I got the grant I appilied for which is really cool... but I think its a bigger deal then I think it is cuz the Administration at school keeps congratulating me (How do they know I got it? lol) and The Govenor is speaking at the thingy I have to go to for it so... maybe I'm downing this and making it alot less than it has to be? Interesting... we'll see
Sam is coming back to Liberati's which is cool... :) But he isn't always nice at work...hopefully he'll be better cuz now he has experienced what a really sucky job is like...?
I'm kinda sad and offended at the moment I'm at school so this has to do with what happened at school...and Nothing else... I was happy til I came to school
So I'm not as excited as I should be about my accomplishments and the fact that my boyfriend is coming back to work and I'm gonna see him more:) but I just feel really really upset and I can't express it because it won't do any good. I'm just gonna tell myself that this individual is a moron which he is and let it go... I'm sorry if someone's feeling guilty about his own actions but don't lash out at me...FUCK YOU! Wow I didn't realize how mad I actually am... I'm all for someone disagreeing with me or having another side of things but u don't just talk and then stop and not back up your shit don't come at me with CRAP and expect me to just sit there and let u talk... Then proceed to be upset or mad at me... WOW I'm really mad didn't even realize that...
K I'm done not feeling better but I will later
|
|
| I am 2 Decades Old Now... |
[20 Apr 2006|10:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Incrediably Happy |
] |
I First wanna say thank you to all that took the time to say Happy Birthday or left me a Birthday Message on Myspace or Facebook ....THANK YOU I felt Love lol:)
My Birthday was just another day except people said Happy Birthday to me. lol...
Sam gave me a party just us 2 on Tuesday... He had balloons and candles all over the place and we had Arby's:) and openned presents :) He got me lots of clothes like always:) Its nice to have someone to always keep u in style thank u baby:) I love u I can't wait to go shopping on saturday are first saturday just us... and we get to go shopping and YAY
On my actual birthday...
I went to my internship early @ 7:30 so I could be out at 1:30... Then Sam took me to Lunch at Applebees... then He had to go to work then I went home chilled alone Alissa called me and we chated updated each other about life til mom came home sat with her for 15 minutes ate dinner then Chris's Mom called me to wish me happy birthday which was very very nice of her.... she didn't have to do it but she wanted to... That family probably won't forget my birthday since it's Chris's Dad's b-day too so yeah it was nice....then 2 minutes later drove to school. Group Dynamics really isn't a stupid class... Its about making your mark in society with a group. I choose my passion: Working with Young girls about boys and having self value and I actually have to do it like make a show how we had in High School and perform it if I'm asked... Slighty scary... My instructor made the class sing happy b-day to me lol which was cute. Then I went home and talked with mom Then Went to sleep... cuz yeah then Sam woke me up at 3 am like he always does but I'm happy to be woken up cuz I wanna talk to him:)
|
|
| Its 8 seconds left in overtime |
[02 Apr 2006|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
My Trip to Lake Havasu Arizona!
Friday March 24.... Airplane ride @ 7:20 to 9:30(Las Vegas Time) So really....12:30am MI time... Then get our bags and these girls who were on our plane were wasted so they grab a huge suitcase and each pulled one way so they wouldn't fall over lol... one was like doing back bends to look for something in her purse...I never saw pull anything out after 30 mins of digging in the same pocket so it could of been something just to keep her busy or looking normal lol. She ran into like 2 people while trying to find her suitcase and almost fell over in her stylettos but she was okay. Then we go to the rental car place the driver of the shuttle directed us to the wrong place and we ended up putting our crap in a car that was being "cleaned" and the lady comes out and asks my dad "what are u doing?" so We got another van and off to Uncle Marty's house 3 hours away in Lake Havasu we get there at 1:45 am Vegas Time, 2:45 Arizona Time and 4:45 MI so we are extremely messed even though me and Lisa slept for those 3 hours....
Saturday- We went out to breakfast at the Pourhouse(thats how they spell it)... then We went to the beach and the water was very pretty but COLD Oh my God it wasn't even like u could get used to it. It was just like a no go. We went to Walmart too and Grocery shopping I discovered that the homes weren't surrounded by grass but landscaping rocks...and most like 95% of the buildings and homes were made of Stucko(Not Brick but cement of some kind?)
Sunday- Uh....I think this was a card day where me and Lisa played Asshole or Rat Slap for like 4 hours straight...I think we rented Movies to 5 in fact lol so we wouldn't be bored
Monday- Me and Ise went Parasailing and it kicked ass
Tuesday- Me, mom, and Ise Shopped....Then went out to eat @ Shurgue's very very very nice place over looking the water on the island of the "Su" and Apparently Sean Penn was sitting right next to us and we were to stupid to notice...
Wednesday- Frickin cold no sun home boring ass day:)
Thursday- We rented a boat and I finally got Tan yay! Then at night the girls Played euchre and me and Aunt Sue won!! yay!
Friday- Re packed lol which sucked and it was boring but I was tried and watched TV and had Ise so it was fine
Saturday- VEGAS we drove back to vegas through the Hoover Dam and my dad thought we were gonna run out of gas and he was about to cry so I was gonna cry cuz how terrible up would that be? JACKASS RUNS OUT OF GAS AT THE HOOVER DAM lol So I prayed til the 45 mins traffic jam was over lol then we had another traffic jam on the Strip then Finally I got to see MELISSA yes Melissa who lives in Cali... I called her on Sunday cuz it was her b-day and she said she was going to Vegas for the next weekend and I said yeah thats how I got here I went to Vegas then we just set up a time and I got to see her! I was soo happy so we hung out for like 3 hours I got to meet her friend Lauren who was really nice and it was just awesome. How weird is that? the first time I go to that side of the country I get to see her? ODD but it was great
Then went to the air port to do it all over again... left Vegas at 10:30= 1:30 am our time then daylights savings time... so 2:30 am we got home at 6:30 then finally got to sleep again at 8 lol Sweet! But
Then after I woke up at 12:30 I went over to Sam's and we just sat and huged for awhile and he told me he missed and loved me and it was soo nice. Soo nice to be cuddled again. Then we got Lunch, watched friends and I gave him his presents which i don't think he liked:( Its hard to buy stuff for guys... then he made me a special dinner with Salmon, potatos and cucumbers very tasty then we just hung out:) I love Sam and I'm soo glad to be home yay
I'm Alive and Well and very unprepared for my semester but its okay I will be fine. I start my internship tomorrow... Wish me Luck! Lake Havasu was a really nice vacation and I enjoyed it alot. Its just nice to be home
Heather- The Su is pretty cool but u will be bored sometimes lol :)
|
|
| I'll keep u my dirty little secret ;) |
[21 Mar 2006|10:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
So My semester is OVER!!! Thank God... but I'm still just as busy as before because I'm catching up on all the stuff that I failed to do during the semester...then I'm going on Vacation on Friday So I gotta pack, clean, scholarships (I should will I...?)Then after the Vacation, the very next day I start my internship @ The News Herald. The Fast lane won't stop but that is okay I wouldn't want to be sitting on my ass(pirn)doing nothing... I just don't have time for anything :( I'm so glad I got to see Betsy last weekend for 2 hours lol Being busy sucks cuz I never have time for anyhting...I have been wanting to hang out with Merle for like lol 2 months and I just haven't had the time... Now I have 2 days before I go on vacation then the maddess starts all over.
Monday- I worked then worked on my dad's book Its gonna be sweet= his b-day present (50) :-O
Tuesday- Clean, I kinda wanna shop today ... shame on broke stina hmmmm Its Sam's day off 2 so we are gonna spend it together after he his done with Editing stuff
Wednesday- Work then Pack
Thursday- APHS to see Mrs. Hall we are gonna work on the graphic art classes she wants my input I think :) she wants me to also talk to students which is flattering
Friday- work til 12:30 then Airport be back Apr 2
I think Ise bomb was going out with that 10th grader I check their Away Messages and it has said since January ish I love u so much Lisa or LF. Lisa would say something like that with his intials like BMC etc. whatever but today she says I'm gonna try to be happy no lovin' BMC lol and his is the same... Interesting. So I think me, mom and dad got punked by Ise. When I asked her about the Love crap she said it doesn't mean the same from when I was in middle school okay... that was like 6 years ago couldn't of change that much right? lol Nonetheless I was right Damn her oh well serves her right for trying to be sneeky
I'll grill her later :-D Off to work out!
|
|
| Bored= Surveys |
[26 Feb 2006|10:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Kristina Grace
Birthday: April 19 1986
Birthplace: St. John's
Current Location: Allen Park
Eye Color: Dark Brown
Hair Color: Really Dark Brown
Height: 5'3''
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty
Your Heritage: Italian, French- Candian & Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Brown LEI Shoes
Your Weakness: Caring what people think of me
Your Fears: Failing at Life
Your Perfect Pizza: Cheese, Pepperoni, Black Olives, Green Pepper
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Survive my internship
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol
Thoughts First Waking Up: Dang it... its time to wake up already?
Your Best Physical Feature: Booty lol
Your Bedtime: 10-12 ish
Your Most Missed Memory: High School Dances
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Ice Capp lol
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Yeah...
Do you Sing: In the Car
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love: I AM IN LOVE
Do you want to go to College: Attending Full Time
Do you want to get Married: Of Course
Do you belive in yourself: Very much
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: Yeah
Are you a Health Freak: kinda
Do you get along with your Parents: Yup
Do you like Thunderstorms: eh
Do you play an Instrument: Nope
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope
In the past month have you Smoked: EW NO
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Never Have
In the past month have you gone on a Date: With Sam
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I wish
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't think I could if I wanted too
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope but willing to try it= Merle?
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nope
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Never have
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Drunk..No..Tipsy..Yes= 3 times
Ever been called a Tease: U'd have to ask the only to Boyfriends
Ever been Beaten up: Nope
Ever Shoplifted: Never
How do you want to Die: In my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Art Director
What country would you most like to Visit: Italy! Just Europe in General
In a Boy/Girl..
Favorite Eye Color: Blue
Favorite Hair Color: Blonde or Brown
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Taller than Me
Weight: Uh...Not double mine?
Best Clothing Style: Preppy, Sporty, Business like
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: A Lot
Number of Piercings: 2 Holes in each ear
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Everything happens for a reason...so NOTHIN
|
|
| Because Of You |
[22 Feb 2006|04:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Valentines Day
Was wonderful:) Sam took me out to eat, Then we went back to his house and we opened presents lolo sounds like Christmas... and he got me really pretty jewerly a bracelet and earrings with a matching necklace very pretty Its pink ice one of my favorite gems :) He made me this awesome thing on the computer with my Adobe CS2:) It is awesome. and Wrote me this beautiful card:) I love Sam
Sometime this week don't remember when me and Sam we arguing cuz I was late and I didn't call him...I should of called but my reasoning was we weren't doing anything special but I shouldn't take him for granted or leaving him wondering but anyways we were arguing and I stomped downstairs and Donavon comes over to me and says "do u not care about uncle sam anymore" and I'm huh? "are u gonna leave" I was just so confused I was like Donavon children don't need to worry about adult problems...which is true then I was like y would me leaving make u happy or sad? he was like sad... and I said don't worry me and uncle sam fight but that doesn't mean we're not gonna see each other anymore, u fight with ur brothers but then u r okay right? ::shakes his head:: its the same thing its just we aren't okay right now but we will be:) don't worry about k? and he went upstairs then I realized Me and Sam are the loving relationship he sees everyday cuz his parents aren't together he's never seen them as a couple so we're kinda like his example ya know? and I just feel bad for scaring him and fighting infront of him... I mean I know not to do that when I'm mom I just didn't think I had to do that NOW with my boyfriend's nephews lol but I won't fight infront of them anymore cuz that made me sad :'( but its okay now lol
Talked to Alissa today...She told me stuff it was cool lol I've been trying to talk to her for like 3 days now lol I love that girl and her b-day is Friday so Yeah She'll be 20:)
So I think maybe Sam's family thinks bad of me...or has the wrong impression of me = WONDERFUL (sarcastism) but I'm gonna talk to him about it so thats the end of that topic lol
My old neighbor when I was like in 4th grade found me on facebook lol so thats cool I was so surprized to cuz everytime I came around like in high school and saw him again he always gave me the impression "go away" I dunno if that was the girl thing or he hated me??? I dunno lol but whatever it was cool nonetheless
Now I have to go to school which sucks major ass :) YAY lol= Night Class= Pisses me off A LOT :-D
|
|
| The Power of Prayer |
[29 Jan 2006|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
Thank u to everyone who prayed for my PAPA he is OK!! and he doesn't have to have surgery and his kidney are fine... WOW I am so happy! I visited at the hospital today and he was his old self YAY! Thank u friends... :) Prayer works... it hasn't failed me yet! I love u guys thank u for the thoughts and prayers I am so greatful to have good o' Papa back to normal
and I just want to say something stupid... Sam made me agree to watching "Band Camp: American Pie" and I was like NO but actually despite all the boobs, lingo and nasty crap... it actually had a better plot then any of the American Pies... because Stifler's lil bro realizes his brother's attitude towards people/ girls and such isn't cool... and it makes him a better person yay for jerks realizing it and changing lol! I dunno I just had to tell u guys that cuz well u know I am about stuff well there u have it... Band Camp not the greatest movie in the world but way better in the plot area then the others!
|
|
| Help MY PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[27 Jan 2006|05:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
My Papa has to have surgery again... and his body isn't strong enough to fight it and I'm really really scared I need help... and he has kidney Malfunction... I can't take this. He is the greatest man that I have ever met. I love him more then anything... and I can't imagine my life without him in it... Please God don't take my Papa please He has to much to see yet! He has to dance with me at my wedding and he has to meet my children, he can't LEAVE! Please pray for my Papa... :'( Please God don't take him from me :'(
|
|
| Can a snake and hamster really be friends? |
[25 Jan 2006|06:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
Well the Interview was fine... no sweat really I drove there no problem except the addresses were joined so I was looking for 31039 and I saw 31089-34231 or something and I got all confused but after passing it twice I found it... yay! So it was fine the guys have to interview like 20 people and that wasn't a way to rush me out cuz I saw all of the apps on his desk of previous interview-ees so yeah. Its fine though whatever happens happens what can u do?
Papa is in the hospital :( I pray that he will be ok... there is a tube in his tummy and green stuff is coming out... then Mom said "the only time I have seen that is when My Aunt and Grandma had tubes in there nose... (They both died of cancer) so that makes me...well REALLY REALLY NERVOUS... Don't take my Papa :'( Please
Just the thought of some people make me want to go off... I don't think thats healthy... but I don't want to talk to these individuals...so...:-D
On Ellen she wanted pictures of unlikely animal pairs that are friends and first was a snake and a hamster... he was suppose to eat it but its been in his change for 3 weeks even though hes straving so he must like it lol
Pot belly pig and dog
Cat and lizard (igunana)
Cat and a dear (From MI too! lol)
Donkey and a dog
Interesting I know...
and I have just recieved word that one of my dumbass cousin is pregnant again... I feel sorry for that kid... Life is grand
|
|
| Stina the Grown up? |
[24 Jan 2006|08:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
So I have an interview with a Marketing Firm tomorrow at 12:30... I am really nervous because that will mean a change... I don't like change, I would like more money lol but to drive farther, look nice everyday lol well its better then wearing sauce stained jeans and smelly Liberati clothes... But a change!
I don't even have a suit coat! My resume isn't on heavy paper. lol I'm not ready for this... I'm getting my Associates June 9 06 GO ME!.. then bachelors starts in the fall. but I'm scared. This person is gonna grill me and manipulate me and freak me out. I have a book on all this crap though so it should be okay...
eh gonna go look at mom's suit coats... Wish me luck:)
|
|
| If u ever Fall in love so true... |
[16 Jan 2006|05:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
Be sure that they are worthy of u!
Saturday was the One year mark from our first date...
Sam tricked me and said we were going out but he made dinner for us... Salmon and Antipasta Salad ( he makes it the best) and He made himself Steak he doesn't like fish lol... and then we watched Wedding Crashers... and He had the basement all lit with Candles and Roses for me:) He got me an engraved photo album, Jewerly Box, Clothes, this Kitty that is sleeping and all curled up I dunno exactly what u would call it but its cute:) I framed a picture I drew of him and I... Its our personalities I'm smiling cuz I'm a happy person and he is being weird cuz he is goofy.. and I also framed the Mr & Mrs. Smith Thing I did of him and me... it is SWEET! and I love it! Profolio Worthy for sure. Very nice night that I almost ruined but its okay... He knew that I didn't do it to hurt him or whatever... It was mine and I wanted it to be used. So I put Mr. Klos & Ms. Anderson in it...
Now before all that...On Friday when me, Sam, Mike and There friends from Jackson wanted to meet in AA I picked up Sam's nephews from his Parents house... Donell mocked me and wasn't listening to me and was being very disrespectful to me... and the only person who said thank u for the ride was Amanda Sam's 18 year old sister... WOW Dawn didn't even say anything to me she was trying to get Donell to say he was sorry to me then Sam was messin with him then he was crying so he got out of it. (Sam didn't know what happened in the car) Showing him if I just cry I don't have to do what she wants... That really pisses me off... I didn't have to get them... They got mudd in the back seat of my new car... does anyone care? NOOOOOOOO I told Donell not to step on my $350 Books.. they were wet when he left the Jeep... That makes me not wanna have kids... becuz they are UNGRATEFUL I don't want mine to be that way... but can I do it better? I dunno... but I sure as hell won't let me kids get away with Crap... being a disrespectful person doesn't change they are 5 going on 6 that is there personalities ??? I dunno what will happen but I do know when Christy and Gerry have there baby in April those boys will get a rude awakening and they will not like it.
Oh these are the things that upset me... That made me not want to be a Mom cuz if he were my son I would of pulled over the car took him out and slapped him and said do u want to mock me now? No Joke I will always follow through when I say DO U WANT ME TO PULL THIS CAR OVER... I will lol No Threats all Real
But the rest of the night was fun We ate at Mongolian BBQ Yummy and I tried Duck and it was awesome!!! And I Got Bubble Tea which made me ever so happy!!! I also played DDR and Sucked ass but hey its cool. I had fun. Awesome Food, Awesome Beverage(BUBBLE TEA), Awesome Company.... very nice nite...
Sunday
I was just jokin around and hurt sam feelings and felt really bad:( and Cried all the way home...
Monday
Then I went to work and Sam found out something about work and he is really really really mad so I hope he doesn't to anything harsh... He's better then that...
But then When I got home I was chatting with my great friend Heather... and I decided I would call Tony and say "What is your deal you frickin asshole" then I didn'y say asshole I was very nice and gave him a chance to explain himself and the fucker hung up on me ... did I call back FUCK NO wouldn't give him the satisfaction to know how much he pissed me off...What a very low low scrum of the earth he is...
He should die of gonerrha and rot in hell... [Would u like a cookie, son] (Ace Ventura) He'll get his... he did the most low form of lying and decieving I've ever heard of. what a fucking bastard...
Heather I got ur back always... I heart U!
|
|
| Bonus Question... Who is Stina? |
[13 Jan 2006|05:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
A question I have thought about all day... I don't really have an answer to... I define myself as one thing and in reality that isn't who I am...its there but not all of me making me an individual. I'm a person like everyone else and I'm no different. And I choose to do certain things and not to do certain things...= doesn't make me special. Makes me rational or makes me smart
I define being special as having a quality that others doesn't have... I guess I don't really have that. I'm just like every other 19 year old girl u pass along the street... something is different about me but I've been told its all same Even by my mother. I don't really think its the same but some say it is. I am my worst critic for sure. I hold myself up so high but am I lying to myself? just cuz I haven't taken the final step does that mean I'm any better or special from others who have...? No probably not. am I being what I hate?
I know I'm nice and I really care deeply about people's feelings... (I get moved by the way others feel its the strangest thing)but I don't think that make me "special" or different for that matter... anyone can send someone a card because they lost their mother, or write grieving parents to tell them how they "moved u"... I mean thats not making someone special or individual. I just think about others lots of people do that... as they should.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other topics tomorrow is 365 days since me and sam had our first date... so he has something special planned... I'm excited... I can forget about my psyche to have a nice evening with a very sweet guy...who is just so wonderful... He is the only person who doesn't do what I want... when I am feeling pathetic he isn't always like oh ur not pathetic he just says STOP! and at first that really upset me like why don't u care that I feel this way... now I kinda see it as Snap out of it u know that that isn't true. I still get annoied because I want him to make me feel better... but in reality I have to make myself feel better I can't count on someone else to do it for me. I have to be better at self nuturing myself.
Tonite we are going to Ann Arbor for a dinner with Sam's friends from Jackson... they're nice this will be my 3 time seeing them. and I will get bubble tea even if I have to go alone lol I need some of that stuff to make me happier...
I told that if his friends want to see him they don't have to invite me... meaning I don't want them to feel that they have to cuz he is my boyfriend. I don't want to be pushed on anyone.. and he was like y did u say that? looking at me like i'm crazy I dunno just something I thought of...? I just don't want people to be afraid of hurting my feelings... I mean they thought I was "weird" last time I'm sure cuz I didn't eat I just kept peeing lol and I got bubble tea and pee-ed some more. So I don't want them to think I'm belimic or anxeoic or anything. I dunno maybe I've got it al wrong? whatever it will be fine
I'm gonna go get ready now...
***Heather Holla @ ur girl if u need her :)
|
|
| Letter |
[05 Jan 2006|06:46pm] |
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez,
Hello and Merry Christmas!!! My name is Kristina Anderson. I am 19 years old and graduated from Allen Park High School in 2004. I wanted to take the time to thank you. I waited until this time of year to express my feelings because I know now is the time that you and your family will need support from family and friends. I want you to know that you have support where you didn’t expect to get it.
I first met your daughter in Catechism when we made our confirmations in 2000. We also went to the same school (Allen Park Middle School). I had known Courtney since the 7th grade. I didn’t really get to know her until high school. She was a really sweet girl with a genuine smile. Her and I weren’t best friends but it was never awkward to say hi to each other in the hallway or to catch up from time to time. We had many classes together and I have many memories of that goofy girl that made everyone else smile along with her.
When I heard the awful news about Courtney I wanted to pay my respects to her and your family. I was very scared that I would have to go alone because all of my close friends were still away at school. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out but I went anyway.
At the funeral home, I was greeted and comforted by all of my fellow 2004 classmates and friends. The whole time I wanted to go up to you, introduce myself, and tell you what a wonderful person your daughter was but I was afraid. What could a girl that you don’t even know have to say, that someone else hasn’t already said to you? Its not that I didn’t think you would care, it’s just that I thought about how I would feel, if I were in your shoes. I would be more concerned with my feelings than with the feelings of strangers, but I was completely wrong.
I wanted to tell you Thank You. Thank you for making it so easy for me to say something to you. When you waited, greeted, and hugged every person leaving the church you showed me what wonderful people you are. You both made it so easy for me to tell you the things that I wanted to tell you at the funeral home. You cared about how I was affected by losing Courtney. You cared about every single person who knew and loved your daughter even when you didn’t know them. I know what you did was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do but you handled with strength and courage. I thank you for that.
Hearing your words at the church showed me what wonderful people you really are. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Mrs. Hernandez’s words were beautiful. The opening was perfect because that was Courtney a radiant smile with no strings. The courage of Mr. Hernandez when he spoke of Courtney, gave me courage that maybe someday when someone I love passes on, I might be able to speak on his or her behalf and tell everyone how I feel. To give love and comfort to my family and friends as you both did for me. Your words put me at a sense of peace in a world/ a situation that was without sense and reason.
I want you to know that what you did that day I will never forget. You may think it was a small respectful jester but it was much more than that to me. I know that my parents wouldn’t of been able to do what you both did that day. I will never forget it or either of you.
You and Your family will always be in my thoughts and in my prayers and I do truly mean that. May the light of the Holy Spirit surround you and bring you Peace this holiday season.
Sincerely,
Kristina Anderson
|
|
| But to cry infront of you... thats the worst thing I Could Doooooooo- Rizzo (Grease) |
[05 Jan 2006|06:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay |
] |
So today I was at work and I saw Courtney's mom and I knew it was her so I ran out and said Mrs. Hernandez?! and she turned around and I said Hi my name is Kristina... I wrote you the letter and she smiled and yes that was so sweet of you, you are such a sweet girl... we put your letter in Courtney's stocking... My heart was about to stop beating... here this lady is being so sweet and nice and its like I don't matter you the one who is in pain... She said you are a great girl and I said well I think you are a great mom... Then she shopped and bought Lasagna that I made lol then I checked her out and she asked me if I went to school and I told her Baker and that I'm going to be a graphic designer and she actually picked up Sam's card I made and she said so he is a videographer? and I said yes and she said well I'm looking for some to transfer video tapes to DVDs and I said yup he does that he just did that for my mom. She said oh well he will be hearing from me then... It was nice to see her what a sweet lady... I couldn't help but want to cry though... cuz you don't want to reminder her that her daughter is gone but you don't want to ignore it either... I mean she was wearing a huge pin of courtney on her winter coat and I'm glad she carries her around like that. Someone can live forever if you take them along.
So I told Sam he will have a new client... and he said he'd be happy to do tapes...:) I'll help him of course. I want to help those people anyway I can...
I wrote the Hernandez's a letter expressing how grateful I was to them for caring about everyone else during that terrible event when I think they should of just cared about themselves It was there child ya know? but they cared about every single person... So I thanked them for caring and being easy to talk to. I wanted to go up to them so many times but I thought what could a girl they don't even know say to them? But they waited for everyone to leave the church .... So I had to give them support because its Christmas Time and I can only imagine how hard that was... I wanted them to know that I cared cuz I do. I really liked Courtney and her parents are just a nice as she was.
They wrote me back right away too I was surprised I didn't write that to get a response but was very happy I did. That I made them smile for a minute out of the 24/7 nightmare. I won't for them I will always send them a Christmas Card and pray for them... because that is something they will never get over...ever or even get used to. they have to live along time still without her and thats really really sad... but I believe firmly that they will see her again it just hopefully wont be for quite some time.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.6){kind=small}
sweetstina's journal